Serving A Duo(lingo)-Purpose

Three years ago, in July 2018, I was at a friend’s house in Miami, FL. Most everybody there spoke english, so I was able to connect with just about everybody. Julio, on the other hand, did not speak English, at least not very well. And, I did not speak any Spanish at all!

Here’s how the conversation unfolded:

Julio: “I am Hooleo.”

Me: Standing there moon-faced not knowing it’s my turn to speak (His accent made his English sound like it was Spanish).

Julio, patiently, after a beat: “Like May, yoon, hooly <pause> Hooleo, es da same!” (huge smile)

Me: Hopelessly lost…

Julio: Gentle pat on my shoulder then off to other things.

He was a genuine, kind-hearted, and gracious host. I could tell that about him by the way he was patiently trying to help me feel seen and welcomed. I could feel it, but I did not understand him and certainly could not tell him. In a way, it felt like I was dishonoring his hospitality. I did not want him to feel slighted but there was little I could do about it and I did not like that feeling.

A week later, I was teaching a class and Justin Rosales, who’s father is Cuban, chuckled while I relayed the story about Julio. Justin was very familiar with the tension of being a monolingual in a bilingual context and knew exactly what I was experiencing. He came up to me afterward and suggested we learn Spanish together. He sent me the link to Duolingo. that night I did my first lesson. I have not missed a single day in over 1,000 days (the app tracks your “streak”).

Here’s some context on why this particular tension resulted in 3 years of disciplined focus on learning Spanish: I have always loved words!

I’ve often been picked on for using (often incorrectly) big words. I like wielding the English language well (though, I still don’t have any idea where commas should go, and I just had to look up the word ‘wielding’ after getting the dreaded red squiggly line under ‘weilding’, ‘weelding’, ‘wheilding’ and ‘wheelding’) I suppose I could have said, using the english language, but that doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to use the language I want to wield it. I want to cut through the pedantry of common vernacular and express truths with that language that do the same. I like the word wield! It connotes an ere of sophistication reminiscent of the profound history that beckons us to honor the blessing of language itself.

As a result of this love of words, I discovered I really like learning Spanish too. I like the process of discovery that a new language presents. I like sharing words I’ve learned with others and testing my progress with friends who speak Spanish.

I think one of the main reasons I like language is I will never master it. There is always more to discover. A new word is literally a portal to an entire universe of creative expression and imagination. A few words (hola Julio, me llamo John) may be the difference between the beginning of a genuine connection with a new friend and a missed opportunity.

As a result, learning Spanish has been a stabilizing glue to my daily routine. I spend 15 minutes every day and over three years it has added up to 15,000 minutes of learning Spanish. Of course, in English, I am a 42-year-old, nerdy, native speaker and in Spanish I am probably about 5, but I’m still learning in both. I love that!

Ironically, however, the learning of Spanish is not my primary motive for continuing to get up every morning and do it. As I’ve reflected on the discipline to do something as mundane as study Spanish every morning, I’ve realized that it comes from a much deeper place than learning for learning’s sake.

I want to connect to the people around me! And, I want to get better at connecting with more and different kinds of people as I grow.

I became very aware early on in my life that there are a lot of people in the world, many of whom are very different from me. I don’t like the discomfort I feel when I meet one of them and cannot find common ground. I don’t like the fear it produces in me. I want to extend the benefit of the doubt when I don’t understand someone’s actions and choices, but I often struggle to do so. I don’t like the fences I have put up, and harsh ideological lines I have drawn they’ve only served to foster misunderstanding and distance.

I don’t like these things in me. I also don’t like them when I perceive them between families, groups, cultures, countries, and races either. I look over our history and can’t help feeling that some of the worst atrocities we’ve ever enacted on ourselves can be explained, in small part, by the fact that we just don’t understand one another.

So, Duolingo serves a dual-purpose. It satisfies my desire to learn. It also helps me make something broken a little less so. It helps me make it a little easier for people I know to truly connect me and hopefully also with others.

I’m not trying to propose that everyone learns another language, though there are certainly worse things you could do with 15 minutes a day. Instead, if learning a language isn’t for you, maybe you could expand your appreciation of art, or literature, or music to include expressions that push you out of your current preferences.

Or, maybe you could choose to live somewhere that isn’t saturated with people who are mostly similar to you. Maybe you could attempt a conversation with someone you love but with whom you’ve had a hard time seeing eye-to-eye. You may be speaking the same language, but you’re not understanding each other any better than me and Julio.

For my part, I was not comfortable with the fact that ten’s-of-thousand’s of people living in my country speak Julio’s language and I didn’t understand enough to even learn his name. So, I downloaded Duolingo.

What makes you feel uncomfortable? What can you do for 15 minutes a day to chip away at the barrier creating that discomfort?

Go Duo it!

Thanks for reading.