Can you imagine experiencing Jesus’ final hours as a seventeen to twenty year-old kid? John, son of Zebedee, brother of James was the youngest apostle. He was “the one Jesus loved,” depicted leaning against Jesus’ shoulder by Leonardo Da Vinci in, The Last Supper.
What follows is a first person, stream of consciousness, description of what John may have been thinking/feeling. It is a fictional work based on the context provided from the four gospels. Maybe you’ll want a refresher of the details: Matthew 26:17-29, Mark 14:12-25, and Luke 22:7-38.
I hope this version of the story helps you imagine what it may have actually been like from John’s perspective to know Jesus as a man, and experience the unfolding scenes of this history-altering event as they may have happened.
It took some maneuvering to get this all worked out. Glad we’ve got the room for the next couple hours. It’s a nice spot, actually. Quiet. The breeze is nice. This is a great place to celebrate the Passover. The city is slammed too, I didn’t think we were going to get a place at all, but, just like that colt, here’s the room, ready like He said it would be. How does He do that?
I guess we’re done. He usually breaks the bread at the end. I wonder what He meant by His broken body and blood. I’m tired. I’m gonna just rest my head against His shoulder. Oh yeah, Peter wanted me to ask Him, “Who is it Lord?”
“The one who dips their bread into the bowl with me.”
Everyone is dipping their bread. He doesn’t mean me does He?
I’m sure He’ll ease into a teaching any minute now, He usually does. But, I may as well take advantage of this break while everyone is digesting.
What’s Judas doing?
“Not me, Lord?”
“Yes, you. What you’re going to do, do quickly, friend.”
What’s all that about?
Maybe he needs to get supplies for the festival, he’s always got something to buy. Glad it’s him and not me, it’s nice in here.
It has been non-stop ever since we got to Jerusalem last week. The crowds! Even more than usual. Teachings, dinners, the perfume incident (Judas was not happy about that! I wonder where he went?), Passover preparations…it’s nice to slow down. I’m exhausted.
Whoa!! I guess Jesus is ready to go. I think I dozed off for a second. Glad I didn’t fall off my chair when He got up. He’s putting His sandals on. Yep, there’s the staff, time to go!
This stairwell is a lot darker than when we came up. I wonder where we’re headed now? Jesus probably wants to pray, It’s about that time. I bet we’ll head toward the Garden, He likes that place.
It’s so quiet. If it weren’t for those clanging swords on Peter and Andrew’s belts it’d be silent. Peter seems more tense than usual. I guess Jesus’ rooster comment got him a little rattled. I’m sure he’s just trying to process everything. He seems a little more charged than usual. Jesus is pretty hard on him.
Finally, there’s the gate. My feet hurt. Ha, the one who has had a bath need only wash his feet. Jesus is hard on Peter. It’s getting hard to see.
Why are we stopping? I wonder what Jesus is waiting for? Oh, He’s about to say something.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled, you believe in God; believe also in me…”
I do believe in you Jesus. He was so confused when we just got out of the boat and left. We didn’t even help with the nets. But I knew immediately. His teaching! Even Peter followed Him. The way He looked at me when He extended His hand to help me out of the boat. Why did I take his hand? His hands are so strong. I was so young, no one had ever believed in me like that before. I was so young. I’m still young. It’s been a long three years. I’m really tired. I do believe…wait! What’s going on with His eyes? Is He nervous? I’ve never seen His eyes look like that before.
“Tonight, you’re all going to fall away because of me. It’s written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered…”
Strike the shepherd? Jesus? He is the Messiah! Why is there a lump forming in my throat? What is He scared of? Why does Peter have that sword?
“I’m going away…I’m telling you now before it happens so that when it happens you will believe.”
Why am I crying? We left everything. Where is He going? We just got here.
“Sit here while I go over there and pray.”
Okay, I’ll sit here then. Who’s hand is on my shoulder. Jesus! His eyes. He wants me to follow him I thought he wanted me to sit. His hands are so strong. Why am I still crying? Shoot, Peter just saw me, I guess he’s coming too.
“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
Is He praying? He doesn’t usually crouch like that. He looks terrible. I should go over to Him? No, He said stay here.
It’s taking a long time. It’s really dark.
“Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?”
Whoa, I fell asleep! My heart is beating so fast. How long has it been?
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Oh, He’s talking to Peter. He’s so hard on Peter. Maybe I should ask Peter what’s going on. No, he looks really upset.
“…Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer.”
Shoot, I fell asleep again. There’s blood on Jesus’ face, what happened? Where’s Peter & James? What are those torches? What time is it?
Is that Judas!?
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